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On Your Marks...

On Your Marks...


Get set...... GO!

You have 12 minutes and 39 seconds to complete one lap of the house with a hoover, wash 3 plates, 4 forks and 7 teaspoons! Find 5 mugs dotted around the house in secret locations by Jamie. Sterilise 3 baby bottles and 14 dummies (after finding the dummies). Pick up 5 dog poo's (apparently I feed them too much - how can they do this many in 2 hours?!) and hang out the washing!

I start with the hoover, this brings with it a time wasting mission, rounding my two dogs up so they don't keep biting it. This would be easier if one of my dogs couldn't open every dam door in the house. 
Dogs rounded up and hoovering continues, only to then suck up one of Jamie's many socks which he insists on dotting around the house and then denies doing so. 
Sock removed and I once again continue, dog opens the door and bites my hoover... 

Hoovering finally completed, one down, five to go. 

After washing the dishes I go on the hunt for the missing mugs, I mean how can one man lose so many mugs! How can one of these mugs be upside down on the floor... just.... 

Breathe!!!! Stay calm, it's just a mug....

I grab a clothe and get scrubbing my carpet, how am I supposed to do all these things in the given time when so many new things arise, they interrupt my already long to-do list and cause lengthy additions. 

I am still missing three mugs!!! 

To the man cave I go - there in the garage are not 1, not 2, not 3 but 6 more mugs! I didn't even remember owning these, it's safe to say what ever is growing inside of them no amount of Fairy liquid will ever remove! In the bin they go! Is it that hard to bring a mug upstairs...I feel my blood pressure rise....

Breathe!!!! Stay calm, it's just 6 mugs....

Okay! Next up the sterilising, I look at my watch...WHAT! It's been 12 minutes and 30 seconds, I watch the last few seconds tick by like the end of a football match and I am about to take the winning shot, the shot to make history, the shot that wins the longest battle ever known.....

And she is awake, screaming like her life depends on it. My day dream of that shot comes to an abrupt end. 9 seconds of knowing that I was out of time. 

But then it dawned on me, why had I been so stupid?! Why, oh why had I prioritised so wrong. Why was she awake....because she wanted feeding....what was number four on my list - to sterilise the bottles. Oh no! How could I be so stupid! 

There was my baby, staring at me in a hoovered, sockless, mugless room with her mum, the idiot that managed to tidy a room but not sterilise her bottles knowing she was due a feed so soon. She knew what she had to do to punish me, and so did I. 

Scream!

She screamed, I screamed (in my head), she cried, I tried not to cry. 
The dogs came in carrying twigs and one of Jamie's wrappers from upstairs and shredded them all on my newly hoovered floor. 

Baby giggles, dogs bark, mum accepts defeat.

The title to my blog - I may need to change it. 

Mum 0 - Baby 1


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