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If Carlsberg Made.......

If Carlsberg Made....... Why oh why do men think us mums know the answers to everything when it comes to our babies? I mean, I know I stay at home with her all the time while I am on maternity leave, but it doesn't mean I'm a baby psychic! No, I know it isn't all men, some of you are super lucky to have a man who dives into those dirty nappies, insists he runs you a bath with candle light while he takes care of the baby for an hour and puts his own laundry in the wash. Lucky you! But reality for me isn't the same, as you may have read throughout my blog. I love my partner a huge amount but boy is he a challenge. 'If Carlsberg Made Men, they were probably too drunk by the time they got to mine....' So that wonderful question he has asked me more times than I can count. "Why won't the baby stop crying?" I have had many different responses, here are 3 of my favourite, 1. If I...

Who's In There?

Who's in There? Once upon a time there was a baby in my belly! God, that feels like a long time ago now, but it was only 8 weeks ago! How does the time go so fast when you become a mum?! I was lucky and wasn't too big considering I was at the end of my pregnancy. I was still walking the dogs (which I probably shouldn't have been), running up and down the stairs, tidying and hoovering like my life depended on it and to top it all off I had the mother of all colds! My due date was five days away and I got my first pains, they kept me up all night, so I rang the delivery suite to be told it was probably false labor. I sat there thinking, how the heck am I supposed to know if it isn't false! The next day the pains had subsided and I put my feet up and felt quite silly for ringing them. Three days from due date the pains returned and I was curled up on the sofa, Jamie (my other half) insisting I ring the delivery suite again. I certainly didn't ...

Gateway To Insanity

Gateway To Insanity Roll up, roll up. Come and witness the show of all time. Running around to the 'Benny Hill' tune is me, once again chasing after everyone and everything. I really sometimes feel as though I have triplets, the only thing is two of them have four legs and are very hairy! The other one is Jamie. My actual child doesn't count just yet as she is still very much static. My life, as you may have read so far, is in fact full of looking after, chasing after and picking up after 4 creatures. Creature number one - farts a lot, wiggles a lot and poops a lot. Creature number two - pees everywhere, loses my mugs and smells funny. Creature number three - very hairy, chases females and gets in my way. Creature number four - pinches my food, sits in my seat and licks his bits. Now looking back at the description of those four I will let you figure out who is who. (The scary thing is Jamie could actually be any of them)! Yes, I'm a bad ...

Mum vs Baby

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