If Carlsberg Made.......

If Carlsberg Made.......

Why oh why do men think us mums know the answers to everything when it comes to our babies? I mean, I know I stay at home with her all the time while I am on maternity leave, but it doesn't mean I'm a baby psychic!
No, I know it isn't all men, some of you are super lucky to have a man who dives into those dirty nappies, insists he runs you a bath with candle light while he takes care of the baby for an hour and puts his own laundry in the wash. Lucky you!  
But reality for me isn't the same, as you may have read throughout my blog. I love my partner a huge amount but boy is he a challenge. 

'If Carlsberg Made Men, they were probably too drunk by the time they got to mine....'

So that wonderful question he has asked me more times than I can count.

"Why won't the baby stop crying?"

I have had many different responses, here are 3 of my favourite,

1. If I knew that she wouldn't be crying would she!?
2. You tell me!!!!

3. Because she is a baby.....

It's safe to say no matter how many times I answer him with one of my many sarcastic responses he still insists on asking me every bloody time! Now imagine the pressure when this is happening, it's like being in a night club and someone is trying to talk to you, you have no clue what they are saying, you try and lip read but it fails miserably. The exact same happens with a baby, the screaming, their way of communicating means that your usual way of communicating with your partner becomes a game of charades, waving your arms around like an air stewardess and the final signal being a middle finger as they start shouting at you! There is a brief gap in screaming when he quickly says,
"Why is she crying again?!"
Are you kidding me....
I just burnt 200 calories waving my arms around trying to tell him I wish I knew why she was crying and he asks the one question that boils my blood!!!

But it gets better, I sat him down one evening and said, "Look, I don't want to fall out but....you really need to stop asking me why she is crying, I wish I knew the answer everytime but I know as much as you!" He took it fairly well, but his lack of understanding came through when he stated this simple fact, "I thought babies only cried when they were hungry." I high fived my self in the face. Break through was going to be a challenge.

'If Carlsberg made babies, they would only cry when they were hungry'

He is getting a bit better at avoiding that question, it should be a question you only ask yourself in your own head, because no-one has the answer. It's either hunger, wind, tiredness, nappy change, boredom, pain or just nothing!

But in all fairness she doesn't cry too much, she has her days of screaming for no reason and you become some singing, dancing show monkey trying to stop your baby before you join them in the crying. Luckily, she is full of lots of smiles and giggles most of the time, sleeps plenty and has lots of lovely things to keep her entertained and comfortable.
We love her lots and lots through the crying, cuddling, laughing and anything else she brings to our family.

'If Carlsberg made babies, they could never make a better one than ours'